In the few short weeks I’ve been talking about adoption

I have only been telling family, friends and well, everyone about our adoption plans for a few weeks.  I’ve been upbeat and positive with everyone.  I can’t believe what I have already heard as far as misguided attempts to be supportive.  I read on other blogs about all the helpful/hurtful things people say but didn’t think they’d be said to me by my people.  I was wrong.  So far, I’ve heard…

• “Now you’ll get pregnant!”  Said with much enthusiasm by almost every single person I’ve told.  Seriously?  Do people really NOT know this is the most cliché thing to say to an infertile moving on to adoption?  I have said to all of them, “I’ve been pregnant.  Three times.”  And also we are not adopting to see if this urban legend is true. 
• “My so and so adopted and they are in contact with the ‘real mother’”  I did not correct this person, but I will if these types of comments with the word real are directed at me and my situation.  I told my husband tonight that if anyone asks him about our future child’s real mother, he is to say that he sleeps with her every night.
• “Why don’t you just fly to Mexico and BUY a baby and fly back home?”  I’m gob smacked by this one!  This was said by my oldest friend from high school, the Matron of Honor at my wedding, and she is also an adopted child.  Adopted in the ‘70s when things were a lot different, but still.  I just can’t even believe I had to hear this crap from one of my best friends.  I realize she was trying to say something funny or supportive or helpful, but she failed, big time!

I thing that may be all, if I think of anything else I’ve been told, I will be sure to write about it.  I guess this is what I have to look forward to, comments from everyone.  I am going to make a concerted effort from the beginning to let these things roll off my back, and to educate people where I can.  That’s the best I can do.

Comments

[Amy]

Hang in there. You have such a great attitude about this upcoming adventure. You are lucky, it took my husband and I a year and a half to agree about moving on to adoption. He was unsure, but now is actually shouting from the rooftops about us being prospective parents. Wishing you well, your baby will find you!