The application process itself was pretty time consuming. There was a lot to do and a lot of details to keep track of. I ended up needing to buy a program to keep track of all of our details. I stored every check list in Notebook for Mac, it was fantastic at keeping everything straight. I highly recommend the program.
The first thing we did was get our physicals done. I remember when I first called my doctor to schedule the physical the receptionist told me they were booking 4 months out! I told them I needed it done sooner than that for my adoption application and she found a slot for me, thank God. I didn’t have any trouble scheduling Chris’ physical. His was first and he had no trouble getting his doctor to fill out the 3 page form from the agency.
Mine was more difficult. I ended up going back and forth 90 minutes round trip 4 times to get it accomplished. First I had to go in for a blood draw, but since I didn’t want to inconvenience either of my bosses I elected to get my blood drawn at 4:30 pm; it was a fasting blood test. Ugh. I starved all day before my appointment. As soon as I was done I drove the 2 minutes to my parents house and ate whatever I could find. A cheese stick, 2 pretzel rods, and some cookies. Very healthy! That day I also got a TB test done, which I don’t think I’ve ever had done before. They put a small needle under your skin in your forearm and inject some something. You wait and see if it turns red I guess. Two days later I made the second trip to my doctors office for him to literally look at my arm and say “you’re fine.” Four days after that I had to go back for the actual physical, EKG, the whole 9. I left my doctor with the form, hoping he would not lose it and that he would fill it out completely for us. A few days later I made the fourth trip out there to pick it up and to my relief everything was filled out completely. Yay, check!
I kept remarking over the week or so that it took to get all that done what a pain in the ass it was. The reality was that it was a beautiful promenade down the primrose path compared to IVF, with it’s 60 needles, high hopes, giant painful ovaries and crashing blows.
Almost as soon as we got our application process started I got a facebook email from the woman who gave us a reference for the agency. She and I became facebook friends after we talked on the phone. She wrote to me to share the contact info for someone else she knew who was in our exact same shoes. I was lucky enough to be introduced to a woman who is applying to the same agency as we are, at the same time. We received our applications just a few days apart. D. and I wrote back and forth over facebook almost daily, swapping our stories and asking each other questions about the application that was in front of both of us. I can’t even say how awesome it is to know someone in our exact same boat. It has been making the rowing so much easier to have someone to talk to about all this who understands completely. Chris and I actually went on a blind double date with her and her husband a few weeks ago and it was great. The conversation flowed as 4 people with very similar stories shared very personal things in a safe environment, a table full of people who get it. I hope that we become closer friends and one day have play-dates together.
So we gathered our documents, birth certificates, our marriage certificate etc. We filled our our forms, statement of net worth, the application itself, and the forms for the background checks. We signed our name lots and lots of times, and then we went to the town hall in our little town and spent an hour there getting all of our documents notarized. We also wrote a 9 page autobiography which was honestly the hardest part. We had to answer a lot of personal questions and do a lot of soul searching, but we did it. Together. Every last word of our joint story was written by the two of us. We agonized over every word and agreed on every bit of it before it was typed in. I hope they like it over there at the agency, I hope they think we will be good parents.
On February 16th I drove with the little boy I used to nanny for from birth (he’s now 12) to the agency where we turned it in in person because I could not bear the thought of just “popping it in the mail.” We worked so hard on it and I really wanted to bring it personally. It was another anti-climactic moment for me. It was such a big moment in my life, turning it in, making it official, giving them such a big check(!) and they just took it and said “thank you, someone will call you within two weeks.” That was that. Good thing I had my little friend with me, he was as excited as I was, and my heart swelled with pride. I love that kid.
Someone from the agency contacted us via email 3 days later and wanted to schedule our home study for the beginning of March. And so it was :) Our first appointment is scheduled for March 10th. I am both nervous and excited. I wish I knew what the social worker was going to ask us.
I’ve learned since looking into the home study that we have actually completed things for our application that most agencies do not do until the home study. We have already been finger printed, and sent in all that stuff to the FBI. We’ve already gotten our letters of reference from our friends, already written our autobiography, and lots of other things. I am thinking that our home study will be just interview questions, along with putting together our profile that will one day be in the hands of the woman who will look at our pictures, read our words and decide that yes, we are the ones she chooses to be her baby’s parents. Amazing.